The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

10 Things That Are Less Loud Than My Kids

My husband works at night, and usually doesn’t get home until 12:30 p.m. or so. I work part-time from home, many times also at night, after the munchkins go to bed around 8.

Our kids get up by 6 a.m. most days, so we don’t get a whole lot of sleep. Only one of us will get up with them so that the other can avoid being a real-life version of The Walking Dead.

But here’s the thing, it’s pretty much impossible to sleep in. Whether Superhero and Sweet Pea playing together, or having some kind of skirmish over a toy, they are loud. Extremely loud.

If I transcribed everything my son said during regular conversation, even at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m., it would look like this:

“MOM, CAN I HAVE SOME BREAKFAST?”

“MOM, I CAN’T FIND MY BLUE HOT WHEELS TRUCK, THE ONE WITH THE FLAMES ON THE SIDE!!!”

“MOM, CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME MORE OATMEAL WITH FRUIT?”

And you ought to hear him when he actually yells. Lord have mercy.

Meanwhile, my daughter has perfected her high-pitched shriek, which she employs whenever she’s having fun, or when she’s upset.

So, that’s why I wound up compiling this list of things that are probably less loud than my children.

 

1. Midnight in Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

image via balldrop.com

image via balldrop.com

 

2. The Sons of Anarchy doing donuts around my living room.

image via rollingstone.com.

image via rollingstone.com.

 

3. Standing next to the speakers at OzzFest.

 

4. Blowing air horns directly into my ear drums.

air horn

 

 

5. Being in the stadium during the game-winning play of the Super Bowl.

 

6. A jackhammer operating directly next to my bedside.

jackhammer

 

7. One million children raiding their Halloween candy buckets.

halloween candy

 

8. Standing next to the Space Shuttle during blast off.

image via nasa.gov

image via nasa.gov

 

9. A gym full of babies getting their shots.

baby crying

10. All of the Real Housewives of every franchise, drunk and fighting on a cruise ship.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

 

Should I add “Your Kids” to this list? Or should we buy ear plugs in bulk together?

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6 comments on “10 Things That Are Less Loud Than My Kids

  1. Maisy Fernandez
    January 10, 2015

    Reblogged this on The Wild Rumpus and commented:

    I am reblogging this today because it is happening right now. Oops, I mean RIGHT NOW!!!

    Like

  2. mamalisa4
    January 10, 2015

    This is great!! My kids are loud too!! Pick me up a pair of ear plugs. I feel your pain!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maisy Fernandez
      January 10, 2015

      I’m glad I’m not alone, but I’m sorry for your ears.
      It seems so much more intense during frigid weather, when it’s echoing through the house instead of through the atmosphere outside.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. xoxolovedee
    February 5, 2015

    LOL!!! This is great. My kids & hubby are all loud. Don’t you wish there was some sort of volume control or a mute button??

    Like

    • Maisy Fernandez
      February 5, 2015

      Haha, definitely. I am sitting at home in a completely quiet house right now — so rare! — and it is like a slice of heaven.

      Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on November 3, 2014 by in Kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , .

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