The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

Chasing zombies, leaves and childhood

I admit, my heart broke a teensy bit when my seven-year-old son son announced he wanted to be a “bloody zombie” for Halloween. It was such a drastic departure from … Continue reading

October 27, 2016 · 1 Comment

Is that a disc, or are you happy to see me?

One of the most joyous parts of parenting preschoolers (and working in a preschool, for that matter), is the hilarity that spills from kids’ mouths on a regular basis. It … Continue reading

October 12, 2016 · 1 Comment

Let’s talk about sex

It all started innocently enough. Last week, I was working at the preschool, enjoying the tale of “I Am An Owl” by Lorraine Hooker during circle time. Then the teacher … Continue reading

September 26, 2016 · 2 Comments

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me NOW?

What I say: “Let’s keep the house clean. We have people coming over in 15 minutes.”

What they hear: Immediately locate and empty every, single container of Legos, plastic play food, flash cards, Matchbox cars, My Little Ponies, plus the 48-pack of markers and the 64-box of Crayolas.

September 23, 2016 · 2 Comments

Dear school, Will you marry me?

Don’t let the school bus door hit ya in the back, lovies!

September 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Why vitamins are ruining my life

Over the past few years, it’s become habit for my tots to munch their Flintstones vitamin before we go up to prep for bed. It’s a routine I’m about to … Continue reading

September 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

Resolve this!

Let’s be honest: Nobody really gives a shit about anyone else’s New Year’s resolutions unless they are somehow involved. Mine are the same as the rest of the herd — … Continue reading

December 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

On makeshift mammograms and ancient elephant innards

As a longtime newspaper reporter, I’ve written a lot of words and phrases over the years. But every so often, parenting throws me for a loop, resulting in bizarre things … Continue reading

August 17, 2015 · 1 Comment

My daughter should be banned from my music and other realizations

It’s about that point in summer where parents are riding the cusp of “I love having all this fun with my kids!” and “How many days until school starts again?” … Continue reading

July 31, 2015 · 2 Comments

Breakfast at the Funny Farm

This is a picture of me trying to eat my cereal this morning. If this is any indication of how the rest of the day will go, I’m gonna need … Continue reading

July 2, 2015 · 3 Comments

EOTW: Yankee Doodle’s Dingaling

It’s been a while since I’ve written up an Embarrassment of the Week. But I had a doozy today, so why not let y’all share in the horror? During the … Continue reading

June 30, 2015 · 2 Comments

Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea!

To my darling Sweet Pea on your birthday, When you wake up today in your new Frozen bed, you will be three. It seems like just yesterday you were figuring … Continue reading

March 23, 2015 · 10 Comments

It Was a Good Day: The Parent Version

More than 20 years ago, Ice Cube released “It Was a Good Day,” a classic hip-hop song recounting the rapper’s idea of a flawless day. His dream day included watching … Continue reading

March 4, 2015 · 15 Comments
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