Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka
It’s been a while since I’ve written up an Embarrassment of the Week. But I had a doozy today, so why not let y’all share in the horror?
During the last week of kindergarten, Superhero, 5, came home from school talking about a new tune he’d picked up from a friend.
He began singing Yankee Doodle, and I felt all happy inside because it reminded me of childhood… and also, it was just in time for July 4.
Except after he got a few lines into the ditty, it took a turn for the worse. It probably goes without saying that he immediately taught Sweet Pea, 3, this, um, updated version pretty quickly. Unfortunately for me, she’s a fast study.
A few weeks have passed though, and I forgot about it. Until today.
We were at the playground, which was packed because it’s summertime. Sweet Pea was perched on a swing, singing the most adorable little songs of her own creation.
Then, out of nowhere:
“Yankee Doodle went to town,
Riding on a heater,
Accidentally turned it on,
And burnt his little weiner!”
I was like:
And she kept echoing the end line, like she was in a recording studio: “burnt his little wiener, burnt his little weiner, burnt his little weeeeiner!”
Of course, she has no idea what she’s really saying, but still. Surrounding kids giggled. Nearby moms shot me some serious side eye.
It was almost lunchtime anyway, so I skulked back to our pony, stuck a feather in my cap and rode home for some macaroni.
Consider this my public declaration: I hereby apologize for anything inappropriate my young daughter says before she knows better. I have a feeling this won’t be the last thing she learns from her older brother.