The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

For the Love of Children

This is not a your usual rant about how tedious it is to do the Elf on the Shelf every holiday season. (Although I do believe that the Elf is … Continue reading

December 10, 2018 · 4 Comments

Let’s talk about sex

It all started innocently enough. Last week, I was working at the preschool, enjoying the tale of “I Am An Owl” by Lorraine Hooker during circle time. Then the teacher … Continue reading

September 26, 2016 · 2 Comments

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me NOW?

What I say: “Let’s keep the house clean. We have people coming over in 15 minutes.”

What they hear: Immediately locate and empty every, single container of Legos, plastic play food, flash cards, Matchbox cars, My Little Ponies, plus the 48-pack of markers and the 64-box of Crayolas.

September 23, 2016 · 2 Comments

Dear school, Will you marry me?

Don’t let the school bus door hit ya in the back, lovies!

September 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Why vitamins are ruining my life

Over the past few years, it’s become habit for my tots to munch their Flintstones vitamin before we go up to prep for bed. It’s a routine I’m about to … Continue reading

September 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

Resolve this!

Let’s be honest: Nobody really gives a shit about anyone else’s New Year’s resolutions unless they are somehow involved. Mine are the same as the rest of the herd — … Continue reading

December 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

EOTW: A new pair of boobies

It’s about that time, y’all: A new Embarrassment of the Week, courtesy of my darling Sweet Pea, 3. Last week, I had a few hours of alone time during which … Continue reading

September 1, 2015 · 4 Comments

What is all this crap in my purse?

Graduating from a diaper bag to a regular purse is nothing short of exhilarating, especially if you had back-to-back kids and carried a diaper bag for, say, five years in … Continue reading

August 31, 2015 · 1 Comment

On makeshift mammograms and ancient elephant innards

As a longtime newspaper reporter, I’ve written a lot of words and phrases over the years. But every so often, parenting throws me for a loop, resulting in bizarre things … Continue reading

August 17, 2015 · 1 Comment

My daughter should be banned from my music and other realizations

It’s about that point in summer where parents are riding the cusp of “I love having all this fun with my kids!” and “How many days until school starts again?” … Continue reading

July 31, 2015 · 2 Comments

Breakfast at the Funny Farm

This is a picture of me trying to eat my cereal this morning. If this is any indication of how the rest of the day will go, I’m gonna need … Continue reading

July 2, 2015 · 3 Comments

EOTW: Yankee Doodle’s Dingaling

It’s been a while since I’ve written up an Embarrassment of the Week. But I had a doozy today, so why not let y’all share in the horror? During the … Continue reading

June 30, 2015 · 2 Comments

My Daughter’s Masterpiece

Most days, Sweet Pea, 2, is a gentle girly girl. She enjoys staging tea parties for her dolls and running a brush through my hair. She is a tutu addict … Continue reading

March 12, 2015 · 2 Comments
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