The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me NOW?

Recently, I watched The Peanuts movie again with Sweet Pea and Superhero.

It took me back to childhood. As I reminisced, I delighted in the shenanigans between Charlie and Lucy. The deep friendship between Snoopy and Woodstock. The potential  stalking tendencies of Sally.

sally-loves-linus

Childhood innocence, or a Lifetime movie waiting to unfold?

 

But one thing that changed was my newfound sympathy for the Peanuts parents. Because that person that sputters  “wah-WAH-wah-wah-wah-WAH” all the time? That’s me, dudes.

selective-hearing-mom-ecard-300x210

When the kids get the occasional hearing test during yearly physicals, it’s sometimes shocking to find out they actually passed. Because what I say and what they take from it are two different things.

What I say: “Hey kiddos, it’s time to come eat breakfast!”

What they hear: Keep playing until your oatmeal has coagulated into a thick block, and then complain that breakfast doesn’t taste good.

particle-board

What used to be apple and cinnamon gooey goodness is now something we can use to build a bookshelf.

 

What I say: “Please put on your shoes.”

What they hear: Turn your head approximately one centimeter to the right, then proclaim ‘I looked everywhere! My shoes are lost!’ and continue about your business of not putting on shoes.

fowl-language-comic

One of my favorites from Fowl Language Comics.

 

What I say: “Let’s keep the house clean. We have people coming over in 15 minutes.”

What they hear: Immediately locate and empty every, single container of Legos, plastic play food, flash cards, Matchbox cars, My Little Ponies, plus the 48-pack of markers and the 64-box of Crayolas.

hot-mess

All ready for guests!

 

What I say: “Guys, please keep hands to yourselves!”

What they hear: Let’s see who needs an ice pack first!

cartoon-fight

 

Then there’s the flip side — and the most hysterical part of The Communication Divide. When the communication benefits them, not only can they suddenly hear and comprehend, they react with supersonic speed.

What I say: “Does anyone want dessert?”

My kids:

_85249423_boltwinning_getty

They made Usian Bolt seem like a snail.

 

What I say: “It’s Friday night. Should we stay up late and watch a movie?”

On the couch, five seconds later:

dog watching a movie

 

What I say: “Do you guys want to go to the beach?”

I blink one time:

img_95941

 

Even though they practice selective hearing 90 percent of the time, it’s hard not to crack up and appreciate each stage of childhood as it comes. Wah-WAH-wah-WAH-WAH-wah-wah.

Oh, you didn’t get that? Sorry. That was Peanuts-speak for “Even though they can be frustrating, I love these munchkins with all my heart, to the moon and back to infinity and beyond.”And I’m telling you instead of them, because…

What I say: “I love you kids sooooooooo much!”

What they hear: She is feeling sappy. Now is a good time to hit her up for dessert.

 

 

 

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2 comments on “Can you hear me now? Can you hear me NOW?

  1. Daina Brower
    September 23, 2016

    Bawahaha! So accurate!
    The teenage years get better! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maisy Fernandez
      September 23, 2016

      That’s a relief! I’m sure the challenges are different, but it will be nice to not have to repeat myself 87 times.

      Like

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This entry was posted on September 23, 2016 by in Kids, Parenting and tagged , , , .

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