The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

It Was a Good Day: The Parent Version

More than 20 years ago, Ice Cube released “It Was a Good Day,” a classic hip-hop song recounting the rapper’s idea of a flawless day. His dream day included watching Yo! MTV Raps, the Lakers beating the Supersonics, and a phone call from a girl he liked.

Ice cube

This song came up on my playlist today as I was driving to pick up Superhero from school to go to his dentist appointment, and it got me daydreaming… What would a perfect parenting day be like?

When they called my son back to get his teeth cleaned, I sat in the waiting room and made a list of things that would make for a terrific day:

— The pediatric dentist office would play a cool mix of old funk, R&B and hip-hop tunes, or show Real Housewives of New York in the waiting room.

— The thin, delicate skin on the arch of my foot would never be impaled by a Lego or Hot Wheel.

— My toilet seat would not be coated with a barely-visible spray of little boy’s pee, which is only detectable after sitting down in it.

— My children don’t argue over breakfast about who had more bear shapes in their bowl of Snackimals.

snackimals

— Nobody cries for 10 minutes over a broken graham cracker.

— My cooking does not set off any fire alarms.

— No beloved dolls go missing, and on top of that, we finally find Elsa’s missing blue shoe.

— The ratio of remaining string cheese to children is equal.

— When a small child exclaims “shit!” at the library, it is not my offspring, so it is OK to laugh.

swear-word

— Once I finally sit down on the couch around 8:15 p.m., for the first time in hours, no children call me back upstairs because their blanket isn’t working right.

— A 24-hour period elapses without once hearing “Let it Go.”

— I remain completely dry while administering baths.

— Nobody would ever forget to flush the toilet.

— The kids eat the dinner they previously requested, and dinner time doesn’t take 60 minutes or more.

— I can use the restroom without A) all hell breaking loose outside the door; B) a parade of children and the dog barreling through the door; or C) my 2-year-old daughter asking if she can sit on my lap.

— I don’t get asked questions regarding any of the following: How babies get into (or out of) mommy’s tummies, privates, death, farts, math, or any other topics that I am ill-prepared to answer on the spot.

This definitely isn’t a comprehensive list, but it was as far as I got before Superhero emerged from his appointment with his goody bag of dental hygiene products, jumbo balloon and balloon animal in hand. (Yes, our children’s dentist rocks it out after the kids are done.)

And guess what? He had perfect teeth, no cavities. Guess I should add that to the ideal day list, too.

What would you add?

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15 comments on “It Was a Good Day: The Parent Version

  1. Justine Fontinell
    March 5, 2015

    Love this list!

    Like

  2. spclickit
    March 7, 2015

    You crack me up Maisy. Thanks for sharing on the Mom Blog Party! http://www.momresource.com/mom-blogs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Toddler_Mama
    March 14, 2015

    This is so cute. The 2 year old on requesting lap time when you’re trying to pee… that hits close to home. Why now? Why must you decide at this very minute that mom’s pasty, dry, horrible upper thighs look like the best place to play “tickle monster”? Just no.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maisy Fernandez
      March 14, 2015

      Seriously. There are so many other times I’d love some lap action. Like you said, why now??
      Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. mamalisa4
    March 31, 2015

    Hmm How about they magically learn how to cook like those kids chef shows and cook me dinner, then insist i sit so they can impress me with their cleaning skills. Afterwards, someone hands me a cup of coffee and they stretch and yawn claiming they are beat and going to hit the sack. “No, no don’t get up” they will say to me.

    too much? LOL Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. JcCee
    April 5, 2015

    I love this list. I would like to add – Dinner is so simple because everyone wants to eat the same thing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maisy Fernandez
      April 7, 2015

      Amen to that! Everyone would eat the same thing, and I wouldn’t have to reheat it 6 times because they’re messing around instead of eating. Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. joeyfullystated
    April 6, 2015

    I’d really like not to ever have wet socks after visiting the bathroom. Like, never again.
    Great list!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Chris Treber
    April 8, 2015

    “Sh*t!” at the library – ha! Our 2 year old yelled “Damn it Curious George!” at our local library. Classy. 🙂

    My perfect day would involve sleeping without a toddler in my bed. Just. Once.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maisy Fernandez
      April 10, 2015

      Haha, I bet the Man With the Yellow Hat yells that all the time, but they leave it out of the books. 🙂
      That’s a good one, too. My son moves around sooo much when he sleeps in our bed. No thanks, buddy!

      Like

    • Maisy Fernandez
      April 10, 2015

      Thanks for reading and commenting!! 🙂

      Like

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