The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

When Four Steps Is Too Far To Walk, You May Receive This Haiku On Your Windshield

Note: I’m kind of slammed this week, so this is a Throwback Thursday post, with an update at the end.

Hey, the cart corral
is right there. Are you effing
blind, or an idiot?

When it comes to everyday pleasures in life, few things are more fulfilling than having a kitchen full of groceries. Red grapes and flat iron steak and Honey Nut Cheerios. Yum. But getting the food from the store to the car to the cupboard sucks.


Going to the grocery is one of my least favorite chores, ranking about the same as mowing the lawn and cleaning the bathroom.

For one, I know that I’m going to drop at least $100 every time I go.

Second, my two favorite grocery stores are always super crowded, no matter what day it is. You need a suit of armor to go up in there some days.

Anyway, I was there today, loading my stuff into my car. The car that I love almost as much as my hubby and pets. The new car that I just bought in March. And this woman, who is parked across from me, puts her three little bags in her trunk. Then she wheels her cart between the front of her car and my ride, leaving it to roll toward my dope-ass vehicle.


See this? Use it.

See this? Use it.

In fact, it took her more steps and maneuvering to walk it to the center than it would have to simply place it in the corral, which was about four steps from the back end of her car.

I know people leave carts wherever they want all the time, and I always think, “what a lazy asshole.” But I’ve never actually seen anyone who is parked so close to the receptacle go to so much trouble NOT to use it. Plus, she didn’t even care that the cart was rolling into my ride, even with me standing right there.

Is it really that hard to steer it to the proper area, in order not to scratch up other people’s vehicles? No matter where you are parked in a lot, they’re never more than about 15 steps away.

In the end, the cart didn’t scratch my dear Carlos, and I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want to seem like a crazy person. But I wanted to tell her she was, perhaps, the laziest person I’d ever seen, and that she was lucky I didn’t shove the cart back into her Toyota.

She just drove off, totally oblivious.

Luckily, my irritation was soon culled by a nice, fat bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I was going to save it for after dinner, but that’s the benefit of having a house full of food.

I could have another one later, if I wanted. And I did.


**Update:  I now have two children, and live somewhere that has blizzards all winter long. I still manage to return my carts, no matter what. And my kids know that’s the rule, too. They get into it, and love to help get the cart back to its “home.”

I’ve heard millions of excuses about why people can’t manage to return carts, but I haven’t been able to get on board with any of them.  Here’s a tip: Make an effort to park next a corral if you find it that difficult.

My friend Laurie complained about this on Facebook a few weeks ago, so I know I’m not alone. Holla if you’re with us on this!

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This entry was posted on October 30, 2014 by in Random Thoughts and tagged , , , , .

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