The Wild Rumpus

Parenting and family, served with a shot of vodka

EOTW: Flatulence at Whole Foods

Welcome to another Embarrassment of the Week.

Wednesday was an excruciatingly long day. I didn’t feel like making dinner, so I took the kids to Whole Foods to get something from the hot bar.

There was no traffic on the way there and we got parking right in front. Score! My kiddos also were cheerful and well-behaved, which doesn’t always happen during the witching hours of 4 to 7 p.m.

This was going much more smoothly than anticipated and I was grateful. They chose their items, and then it was my turn to grab some chow.

As I picked out my dinner — the mesclun goat cheese salad, yum! — from the refrigerated area, one of my children, who shall remain nameless, sat down on the low edge of the case for a few seconds. Then said, rather loudly, “Mom, I just farted! But I’m saying excuse me.”

Now, granted, the offending backside was hovering about a foot over any food, which was wrapped tightly to be sanitary and maintain freshness.

But still… Gross. If I were any of the three to four people standing right there, I probably would have taken a pass on the ready-to-bake pizzas that were sitting in that cooler case.

I guess I should be happy he/she at least excused his/herself. But I could have done without the announcement being made in the first place.

However, when one another shopper kind of chuckled and offered a knowing look, I remembered I was not alone in this parenting world. The places it takes you are strange and wonderful and heartwarming … and sometimes, embarrassing. But it’s all part of the fun, right?


5 comments on “EOTW: Flatulence at Whole Foods

  1. soccerdawg
    November 7, 2014

    Here’s one for ya (though, it wasn’t too embarrassing, I guess): When my son was about 5, we flew to visit his dad. When we got to our seats, I told him to put his seatbelt on. He said, very loudly, “Yes, mommy. I’ll put my seatbelt on so that if the plane crashes, I’ll be safe!”
    The people around us started giggling, so I said, “Yes, honey. That’s exactly right.”


    • Maisy Fernandez
      November 7, 2014

      Oooh, that’s a good one. I love that age. They know so much, but then again, they don’t. 🙂


  2. donteatthecrayons
    November 8, 2014

    I love shopping at “Whole Paycheck.”

    But we DO get weird looks, as you can imagine, when we traipse through as a family of nine. Our “Whole Paycheck” offers each child a free piece of fruit to any child over in the designated eating area. Or at least they used to, until they realized what that would mean when OUR family walks through the door. 🙂


    • Maisy Fernandez
      November 8, 2014

      Haha. My kids always make a beeline for the cheese samples. If ours offers free fruit, I’m not privy to it, but what a nice feature.

      And speaking of “whole paycheck,” they of course wanted a boatload of mashed potatoes from the hot bar. It’s, like, the heaviest thing on the pay-per-pound hot bar. 😉


  3. Pingback: EOTW: A Birthday With Pantiliner on My Face | The Wild Rumpus

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This entry was posted on November 7, 2014 by in Kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , .

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