After running errands last week, I cruised through my tree-lined suburb, sipping on a gigantic coffee, sunroof open, with my stereo blasting some 20-year-old hip-hop.
I was alone, for once. No tiny tyrants in the back seat shouting Taylor Swift song requests, or asking for pretzels, remnants of which will eventually become crushed all over the back seat.
My hair was blowing in the wind, I was jamming out, and for a moment, it reminded me of my past life. You know: A Lady Without Children.
I was a person who listened to unedited music really, really loud. Someone who wore fun earrings, because I wasn’t afraid they’d accidentally be ripped from my earlobes by a wee tot.
I wore lipstick because I had time to put it on. I went to lots of live music shows, and we didn’t have to pay a babysitter $18 an hour to leave the house.
But, there’s nothing to jolt you back to reality like pulling into your child’s school, realizing you’re still blaring Method Man from every window. I turned down my stereo and parked the mom-mobile, aka my Subaru Forester.
I was a little bit early for my volunteer shift, so I just sat there, staring at the kaliedoscope of autumn leaves — the very best part about living in New England, by the way — and chilled for a few.
There was a time I didn’t even want to have children. Like, the first 30+ years of my life, really. I’d see kids tantruming out in Target, look at their poor, stressed-out moms and think, “I am never, ever having kids.” And I meant it.
Somewhere along the way, I changed my mind.
Now I was about to volunteer in the lunchroom and see every, single child that goes to my son’s elementary school over the course of two hours. Man, how times change.
As I got out of my car and peered at the two empty car seats in back, though, I knew this is exactly where I was meant to be, literally and figuratively. Because damn if those two munchkins haven’t changed my life for the better.
Alone time is a thing of the past, and for the most part, I’ve traded in my fancy shoes for Toms. But I also get to color in My Little Pony coloring books with my daughter and read Shel Silverstein poems with my son.
We kick soccer balls in the back yard and have impromptu picnics in parks. We take turns making silly faces at the dinner table. We have the world’s best dance parties.
My daughter tells me I am her very best friend, and that I look beautiful, even when I feel like a ragamuffin.
My son gets off the bus every day, runs toward me, and gives me the biggest bear hug in the world before racing his neighbor friend back home to our yards. He draws me pictures and tells me he misses me when he’s at school.
Turns out, I love this life. Even with the occasional meltdown in Target… because all the other stuff that comes along with parenting blows my mind.
I just needed to be old enough to appreciate it. And Lord knows I am. I’m about to turn *cough cough* next month, and those candles are gonna set the spot on fire.
Better late than never.
So lovely x
LikeLike
LOVE it – the then, and the now!! Jammin to Salt n’ Peppa on the road-trip home to Spokane in the Jetta, sporting only our bras up-top to bear the heat. Then fast-forward to sippy cups and Thomas the Tank Engine sing-along tunes in the car. That’s the good stuff – all of it…memories being made!! Thank you so much for sharing your life stories in this bog, that we can ALL relate too…and with such creativity, that is always sure to bring a smile to my face. π You’re the goods Mais…keep ’em comin…
LikeLike
Stacey!!! We had so much fun back in the day. Haha! Remember, “hey, my fingernail is on fire?” Haha. Miss you.
Thanks for reading and commenting. π
LikeLike
Thank you for living in my memories of “BK”, before kids. Also, thanks for saying the things I feel as a Mom. In this world that feels so abnormal after 35 years of something else, it’s so comforting to have a peer yet again in you. The fact that you can talk to me through your blog is a blessing. I hope we can connect in real life soon. I love you, Maisy.
LikeLike
Joli, I love you and miss you. We so need to get together in real life. Our kids need to meet and play and become second-generation friends.
LikeLike
I think it is FANTASTIC that you are enjoying life and what it has brought you TODAY, even though you may not have chosen this direction 15-20 years ago. You may not be where you though you were when you were 20… but you’re enjoying it nonetheless.
Not everyone can say that. Hang on to that , and please, keep sharing with us, Maisy…
LikeLike
Thanks for reading and commenting, Mike. Appreciate you taking the time!
It’s funny because I feel much more fulfilled now than ever. Never saw that coming. π
LikeLike
Isn’t it amazing how we suddenly can’t imagine our lives without these little ones in it! It’s still good to rock out to method man every once in a while though π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree! I’ve been trying to get to the gym lately, so I’ve had some extra time with my music lately. π
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Have a great day!
LikeLiked by 1 person